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Why reverse harem romance is so popular (even for cuckold skeptics)

How the open secret behind the record-breaking success of reverse harem romance stories can add a dash of “hotwife spice” to your bedroom play… even if your wife has doubts.

Do you know what the success of stories like Twilight and Fifty Shades can teach you about cuckolding?

Here it is:

Millions of women fantasize about being sexually desired by more than one man at a time.

In romance books, the “reverse harem” story tells the tale of women who are pursued by… and have relationships with… multiple men.

Clearly many (many) women find their panties damp from this fantasy.

And if she’s getting randy at the idea of two… three… ten… guys trying to have a turn with her…

You can imagine the possibilities for a wannabe cuckold husband

I mean, she’s clearly turned on by the scenario. So why wouldn’t she be into your cuckolding kink?

What could you do with this forbidden knowledge about female desire, if you are a frustrated cuckold husband?

In this article we’re going to introduce the “reverse harem” romance story and show you…

  • What is a reverse harem romance and why cuckolds should care
  • Why she doesn’t want to cuckold you (except in one weird way)
  • How the ‘love triangle’ makes a perfect hotwife scenario

What is a reverse harem romance?

As Book Riot tells us, “reverse harem romance” is a rebrand on the old theme of polyamorous relationships.

One woman in a committed relationship with multiple men.

After that, the details get murky.

A reverse harem means that she will have more than two partners. Here are a couple of other definitions:

Polyamory: the technical term for reverse harem relationships.

Polyandry: the woman is married to multiple men.

Polyfidelity: the concept that sex is restricted to within the group – this isn’t a free-for-all, and cheating can still exist within a reverse harem context.

Despite some loose overlap, none of these quite pluck the strings of that oh so sexy cuckold or hotwife kink, do they?

But there’s another reason that cuckolds and hotwives should know about these stories.

They reveal a little-known secret about sexual desire in women…

The real reason that the love triangle is so popular in romance fiction

Sex scientist Meredith Chivers discovered that women have a very different sex drives from men.

While testing male and female sexual arousal, she found that women get wet from watching almost any kind of sex. Even bonobos mating is enough to get the juices flowing.

But here’s where it gets weird.

Even though they were physically ready for sex, the women in the experiment only felt desire for sex when seeing other aroused people, or watching couples have sex.

Chivers figures that there’s a difference between physiological arousal, which can be measured by blood flow in the vagina…

And the real machinery of her sexual desire, which is entirely subjective and mental for women.

While men get hard dicks and feel desire at the same time…

It’s different for girls.

A woman can find herself dripping wet and not feel any sexual desire.

That’s because her desire for sex doesn’t work like the male sex drive.

Certainly women are very sexual and have the capacity to be even more sexual than men, but one possibility is that instead of it being a go-out-there-and-get-it kind of sexuality, it’s more of a reactive process. If you have this dyad, and one part is pumped full of testosterone, is more interested in risk taking, is probably more aggressive, you’ve got a very strong motivational force. It wouldn’t make sense to have another similar force. You need something complementary. And I’ve often thought that there is something really powerful for women’s sexuality about being desired. That receptivity element.

Meredith Chivers

If the male desire is active and assertive…

The female desire is reactive and receptive.

Which means that she needs to feel desired before she feels desire.

Sex really does begin in her mind.

“Being desired is the real orgasm.”

Marta Meana

What can we conclude from this?

It’s that…

Women respond strongly to intense male attention… even if they don’t consciously realize it

Are you paying attention, cuck?

She can be just as horny as you…

Just as likely to step out with other partners…

Even have wild, satisfying sex with a near stranger…

But it has to begin in her mind.

If women believe that they will not be harmed and that the sex will be good, their willingness to engage in casual sex equals that of men.

Psychology Today

She doesn’t want to cuckold you (except for the one special way that she does)

She may not understand the reverse harem romance as telling a story about a cuckold relationship.

And strictly speaking, it isn’t.

She isn’t into this because it satisfies YOUR desire to see her with another man.

She’s responding to HER OWN desire to be desired.

The Twilight books and films show us that the reverse harem scenario is a powerful source of female sexual energy.

And if that weren’t all… there’s a certain kind of man she’s looking for.

The delicate, tentative guy who politely thinks about you and asks if this is okay or that is okay is a guy who may meet the expectations of your gender politics (treats me as an equal; is respectful of me; communicates with me) and your parents’ preferences, but he may also put you into a sexual coma—not despite these qualities, but because of them.

Psychology Today

She wants a man who hungers to have her body… to kiss every square inch of her skin… to rip her panties off and give her the mind-blowing fuck of a lifetime that will leave her seeing stars.

How common is that kind of energy from a man in a long-term monogamous marriage?

Women have nearly limitless power to enjoy sex… but she can’t do that if she’s in a marriage where she’s only allowed sex with one man… they’re bored of each other… and she’s unable to explore satisfaction from other lovers.

One last thing before we wrap up.

Remember also that women face a lot of social pressure… usually from other women… not to be seen as “a slut”.

Women thrive on male attention and competition… they just don’t want to be known as sluts

If you want her to be more in touch with her inner dirty girl, she needs to feel safe and secure.

Summing up

Where does all this leave you, cuck?

Here are two lessons you can take back to the bedroom.

The first thing: Her interest in reverse harem romance might give you a secret ‘backdoor’ into your cuckolding or hotwife angle.

Even though it isn’t a cuckold kink from HER point of view.

The only difference between reverse harem and cuckolding is…

How the heroine’s main partner responds to the sexual competition

Think about it. The cuckold husband wants his hotwife to be in a love triangle.

Instead of feeling jealousy, he gets off on the idea.

Which leads us to…

The second thing: Her sexual desire responds to cues of desire from men.

Which means…

If she isn’t feeling desired she isn’t feeling desire

If you’re a cuckold with a hotwife, you should remember this cue:

Men want to excite women. Women want men to excite them. 

If you’re a cuckold who wants to excite his woman?

You’ll find ways for men to excite her… even if they aren’t you.

It turns out that while monogamous marriage does provide the intimacy, security, and closeness that men and women can enjoy…

The familiarity of a long-term partner kills the animal lust from men that stokes the fires of her sexual desires

If you want to convince her to play along with the hotwife fantasy, you have to frame it in terms SHE can understand through her own experiences.

If you’re the prospective hotwife?

Your desire for sex with other men is a natural part of your sexuality.

Accept it and embrace it, babe.

If your husband is down for you to fuck other men, go for it. He’s giving you a tremendous gift.


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